You are trying to be loving when you are not pleasant.When you are feeling bitter, you try to be loving, it will destroy you.
Love has become a relevant thing in human life. Only because human emotion is a strong aspect of being human being. In human life, emotion is a very powerful thing even in this day & age, though people think they are very intellectual, even today their emotions are the strongest aspect. It is the most intense aspect of their life. They claim they are intellectual, but their intellect is never so intense, but their emotions are intense. Maybe not love, maybe not compassion, but maybe anger, maybe irritation. These are all emotions. So, emotion is a very important aspect of being human.
What type of emotion do you want to have? Do you want to have sweet emotions or bitter emotions? ‘Sweet emotions‘. Right? It works better that way, isn’t it? So, love means just that. You have transformed your emotions into sweetness. Now, I want to be in love without emotion.
Love is an emotion. It is the sweetness of your emotion which we’re referring to as love. If the same emotion become bitter, we call it hate. Usually, it is the people whom you love that you hate, isn’t it?Some time ago, you loved them, now you hate them. You don’t hate any man who is just walking on the street, isn’t it? Some love should have happened and now the coin fell another way and now it’s become hate. It’s just the same coin- if it falls this way, it is love. If it falls that way, it become hatred. Don’t think they’re too far away. They’re pretty close. One little thing goes wrong, love becomes hate, isn’t it?
So, how to be in love without emotion? Love is an emotion. Now the choice is only do you want your emotions to be sweet, pleasant or unpleasant emotions? That’s your choice. It is an obvious choice, isn’t it? But most people are keeping their emotions bitter most of the time. Bitterness need not necessarily mean they’re in active hatred. They’re in irritation, agitation or in some kind of fear. Fear is also an emotion, anxiety is an emotion. It is in some level of unpleasantness.
If you make your emotions very pleasant, then life will be very pleasant. Even today, most people experience as a moment of love as the most profound experience of their life. It is not. But they experience it that way because that is the most intense thing they’ve touched. That is the deepest dimension of life they’ve touched is a moment of love.
People are talking about divine love. You don’t know whether God loves or not. Human beings are capable of love if they are willing. If you made yourself in such a way nobody around you can love you, then the only succor you have is somebody must love you, long distance from there. It is unfortunate way to live. God loves you- It’s the most unfortunate way to live. That means you made yourself in such a way nobody can even look at you. If people around you cannot help loving you, that is a nice way to be.
Things shouldn’t be looked as love, hate, happiness, misery. Do you want to be pleasant or unpleasant? If you become pleasant in your body, it is health. If you become very pleasant, it is pleasure. If your mind becomes pleasant, it is peace. If it become very pleasant, it is joy. If your emotions become pleasant, it is love. If it becomes very pleasant, it is compassion. If your life energies become pleasant, it is bliss. If it becomes very pleasant, it is ecstasy. If your surroundings become pleasant, it is success. So, the other names that you give are just leading to confusion.
Should I be loving?
You don’t have to be loving. Just be pleasant in your body, pleasant in your emotions, pleasant in your energies. You’ll be a wonderful being. If your emotions are pleasant, you can share that pleasantness with anyone. If your emotions are unpleasant, for sure, you’ll share that too with the people. You cannot do something that you are not. If it is feeling pleasant now, it will naturally be pleasant to everything. If this is feeling unpleasant right now, it will be nasty to everything. So instead of seeing how to make this pleasant, you want to be pleasant to somebody-that is being loving. You don’t have to be loving. If everything within you has become pleasant, whatever is needed that moment you will do. If you need to say pleasant things, you will say that. If you need to say some hard things, you will say that, but without any unpleasantness in you. If you’ll have to fight a war, you’ll fight it without unpleasantness in you. That’s is important. Then you’ll do everything only to the extent it’s necessary. You’ll not overdo anything.
If you love somebody, you will exaggerate good things about the people whom you love. Likewise, if you hate somebody, you will exaggerate bad things about them. If you’ll never say anything the way it is, people go blind with things that they love. They have no sense, they’ll lose all their sense. If they hate also, they’ll lose sense. If you like, you’ll lose sense; if you dislike, you will lose sense. The doorway of life is in being calm & composed. That you’re able to see everything just the way it is.
You are pleasant to somebody not because somebody is nice, but because you’re pleasant & that’s all. It’s more guaranteed love affair. If you’re pleasant to someone because that person is nice. Tomorrow, if that person is not nice, something else will happen, isn’t it? If you have to be pleasant, then they have to be fixed the way you want them & that’s not possible. Nothing can be fixed the way you want them. You cannot fix one person the way you want them, forget about the whole world. The more you try this, the more unpleasantness & bitterness will happen. That is why in the so-called most intimate relationships, maximum amount of unpleasantness happens. So, this is because you’re trying to do something that you are not. You are trying to be loving when you are not pleasant. When you’re feeling bitter, you try to be loving and it’ll just destroy you. When you’re feeling pleasant, you don’t need to take efforts to be loving, everything comes effortlessly.
‘If everything around you is unpleasant, how can you be pleasant’. Especially, if everything around you is unpleasant, it becomes even more important that you’re pleasant.
I loved this one from one of the Sadhguru’s Video. Thanks for reading